31 Topes

This song evolved from my short story of the same name, when it appeared in the Mazatlan Messenger. The 31 Topes, 29 Stops, Testicle Slap Bus Ride. Kinda fun.... Topes (TOH-pays) are the ball-busting bumps in the roads in Mexico to keep people from speeding “31 Topes, 29 Stops (Still Walkin’)” (Mazatlán Bus Blues) [Intro] I just wanted to go to Centro… That’s all. Didn’t think it’d turn into… a full-contact sport. [Verse 1] Dusty lot on the edge of town, Buses lined like they’re breakin’ down, Windshield words I can’t decode — Just pointin’ somewhere down the road. Old man waves, says “Centro, sí,” That’s good enough for a guy like me, Six pesos says I’ll take the ride — What could go wrong? I climb inside. [Pre-Chorus] Front right seat, best view in town, White words smudged, dust floatin’ around, Got my pad like I’m takin’ score… Should’ve known I was in for more. [Chorus] Thirty-one (topes)TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Thirty-one (topes) TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Every bump feels like gravity drops, Hang on tight or kiss your pride — This ain’t a bus… it’s a carnival ride. [Verse 2] First few bumps were nice and slow, Little bounce, “Hey this’ll go,” Driver warms like a derby run — Next thing I know we’re havin’ fun. Topes hit like a cannon blast, Up I go and down real fast, Seat comes up or I come down — Either way I meet that ground… Pretty sure I saw my future flash around… [Pre-Chorus] Look around — nobody cares, Local guys just sittin’ there, I’m the only one thinkin’ “man…” This might end my family plan. [Chorus] Thirty-one TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Thirty-one TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Every jolt makes your heartbeat hop, Try to act cool, try not to shout — But your soul might exit out. [Verse 3] Now I’m thinkin’ survival plan, Tryin’ to stay a decent man, Notebook in one hand, pride in the other — Tryin’ not to explain it to a father. School kid next to me lookin’ straight, I’m prayin’ I don’t miscalculate, Timing’s everything on this ride — Or you’re gonna lose more than your pride. [Bridge] Then we hit dirt — oh Lord above, Driver’s got a heavy foot and a love For potholes, rocks, and sudden turns — Every lesson a man can learn. Dust rolls in like desert storms, Clothes turn fifty shades of worn, Pad in hand, I try to write — But I’m fightin’ for my life. [Break] TOH-pays… twenty-one… Stops… twenty-three… Still alive… barely. [Final Chorus] Thirty-one TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Thirty-one TOH-pays! (TOH-pays!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Forty-five minutes of non-stop shocks, Twists and turns and a wild parade — Best bad decision I ever made. Thirty-one TOH-pays! (topes!) Twenty-nine stops! (stops!) Stumbled out like I’d been possessed, No limp, no damage, still intact — Don’t ask me how… I ain’t goin’ back. [Outro ] Hit the sidewalk… stood up straight… walked it off like a champion… …like nothin’ ever happened.