Avoidance behaviour and how to avoid it (2017)

Avoidance behaviour in children can be very frustrating and even disappointing at times. So where does this behaviour stem from? Dr. Ross Greene tells us, “Kids do well if they can”. I would further that statement and say, “kids do well if they think they can”. It is important to acknowledge that avoidance behaviour is often triggered by the child’s perception of a task. This perception is often a result of the skill and experiences the child has with the task at hand. I have found that the self-talk of avoidance behaviour says, “I don’t think I can because I never have before or I fail every time I try. I’m stupid… this is stupid”. In my opinion, avoidance behaviour is the brain's way of avoiding discomfort and the painful feelings of being insufficient or stupid. To add to this, we live in a world where avoidance of uncomfortable tasks is extremely easy and pleasure-seeking is the increasing norm in society. So what do we do as educators to help kids get over their limiting beliefs and embrace new challenges? In this video, I talk about simply meeting kids where they are at and removing the societal expectations of what they should be capable of. Instead of arguing with them or punishing them, I suggest presenting them with challenges that match what they believe they are capable of despite what our beliefs may be. Remember our goal is to build self-esteem and create positive feelings around challenges and a confidence that enables resiliency.