Behind The Applause

Lyric: I learned how to smile on command Shake every doubt out of my hands Mirror talks but it’s not my face Just a version built for praise Tailored words, rehearsed replies Wearing comfort as disguise Every cheer felt distant, small Like echoes in an empty hall The more I tried to fit their frame The more I slowly lost my name I was fading in plain sight A shadow standing in the light I’ve been living behind the applause Dressed in perfection, stitched with their laws Screaming loud but nobody hears A flawless mask built out of fears If I fall, I fall, I’ll fall as me No more chains of who I should be Better hated for what I am Than loved for someone I never can Walking roads that weren’t my own Carrying dreams that never were grown Every “yes” cut deep inside Every truth I chose to hide I was breathing borrowed air Fighting battles unaware An actor lost without a stage Trapped inside a golden cage Plastic smiles, digital souls Scrolling through a life on hold Everybody wants a version Polished up and self-controlled Filters on my heartbeat Captioned like a fantasy Chasing validation Like it’s oxygen for sanity But I’m done performing Done deforming who I am Rip the mask in half Let it shatter in my hands If the world rejects me At least I’ll stand free No more living as a ghost Of who they planned me to be (planned me to be) It’s terrifying standing bare When every eye is watching there But it’s worse to slowly disappear Inside a life that isn’t here I won’t live behind the applause I break the silence, break their laws No more perfection carved in stone I’d rather bleed than not be known If I fall, I fall, I’ll fall as truth Not a mask designed for you This is my voice, my fight, my flame I take back my face, my name