Caged Medals

To guard my chest, I engineered the disguise Half-truth syntax, pain coded in lies Core held emet (truth) but it cut when it rise Every time I faced it, it severed my ties They wanted an upgrade, a cleaner design Not the fracture I carried, just a polished outline So I edited self, kept the optics aligned While the real one bled in the back of my mind Medals on chest—authentic, not staged But the cause of the shine stayed locked in a cage You see honor displayed, I see names on a page Every ribbon a memory I never could gauge War didn’t end—it collapsed from within No more shalom (peace), just noise in my skin Friends turned to echoes, just ghosts in the wind Family fault lines, couldn’t hold what had been So I muted my voice, let the silence begin Lost my lev (heart), let the fracture set in I became that shame, let it brand and emboss Every scar like a script, every line got a cost Truth stayed central but it burned through the core So I dimmed that flame, couldn’t take anymore Built a shell, no rachamim (mercy) in war Standin’ tall in the storm but internally tore Still I fought through the dark, heard a call in the pain Ruach (Spirit) hit breath, brought a pulse back again From the ash to the forge, I was shaped in the strain Now I speak what I buried, no more hidin’ the flame I gave you my all, now I’m locked outside Built it brick by brick just to watch it slide Emet (truth) in my chest but I learned to hide Now I’m speakin’ to God where the wounds reside I gave you my all, now the line stay dead Every word ricochet, every message misread Truth cut deep so I masked it instead Now I’m searchin’ for or (light) where the darkness spread I gave you my all, now I stand refined Through the fire I was pressed, now the form aligned If you never come back, I still won’t decline Walk in derekh (the way), leave the past behind Came from the bottom where the pressure reside Had to carry that weight with no place to confide Every step that I took had a war inside But I masked it with strength, kept it buried with pride Tried to lead from a place I ain’t healed within So the love came sharp, cut deep in the end Didn’t know how to build, didn’t know how to mend So I broke what I loved, couldn’t see through the lens Every silence I kept was a scream in disguise Every look that you gave saw the pain in my eyes But we both played roles, both believed in the lies Now the distance we got is the truth we denied I remember them nights when the house went still But the tension was loud, you could feel that chill Tryna hold it together with a fractured will While the cracks in the bond just grew uphill I ain’t blamin’ it all, I can own my side I was lost in the dark, I was led by pride But the pain that I held had me misaligned Couldn’t love you right with a broken mind Then the truth hit hard, had to face that call Had to lay it all down, had to lose it all Found a voice in the silence beyond that wall Now I stand on the Word, I won’t slip or fall Now I see that the war wasn’t flesh and bone It was deeper inside, it was throne to throne Had to break that chain, had to stand alone Now my strength ain’t mine, it’s the One I’ve known I still pray for the day that the line come through That you hear this truth, that it reaches you Not to force your hand, not to make you choose But to show that the love never came untrue If I never get back what I lost in time I still walk this path, I still climb that climb Turn the pain to a purpose, refine the mind Let the fire that broke me now make me shine Now I breathe slow, let the past release Not defined by the war, I’m defined by peace What I lost don’t own what I’m called to be I move forward in truth, yeah, I finally see If you hear this line, know the love stayed real Even silence was loud with the weight I feel I forgive what was broke, I let God reveal What was buried in pain, now it’s startin’ to heal Now I stand in the gate with a clearer sight Not in anger no more, now I stand in light What I send from my bow gon’ be aimed right Every word from my chest gon’ align with right Quiver filled with the truth that I couldn’t say Now I loose it in time, let it find its way If it lands or it don’t, I still walk His way I release, I don’t chase—I just trust and pray