chasing the rush

First place photo on the dresser Gold frame, dust on the edge Everyone calling him a winner He just hears static in his head Handshake, spotlight, champagne shimmer Smiles for the cameras, practiced grin But the room goes quiet when he’s lying in the mirror Thinking, “Is this all I get for this skin?” He’s chasing the rush chasing that first-time feeling Everything’s up but nothing is really healing His name’s at the top and his chest still feels destroyed So he’ll do anything, anything to fill that growing void (yeah, he’ll do anything, anything) to feel that rush again Backstage bottles in a paper bag Little white storm on a glass-top night Laughs too loud, says he’s “just relaxing” Eyes too wide for the soft bar light Medals in a box by the laundry Phone full of numbers he won’t call Every new hit tastes a little more hollow So he ups the dose just to feel at all He’s chasing the rush chasing that first-time feeling Everything’s up but nothing is really healing His name’s at the top and his chest still feels destroyed So he’ll do anything, anything to fill that growing void (yeah, he’ll do anything, anything) to feel that rush again How high is high enough when the sky feels six feet tall How loud is loud enough to drown that whisper in the hall He signs his name in silver ink on some stranger’s faded shirt Then walks alone to a quiet sink watching red eyes in the water He’s chasing the rush chasing that first-time feeling Everything’s up but nothing is really healing His name’s at the top and his chest still feels destroyed So he’ll do anything, anything to fill that growing void (yeah, he’ll do anything, anything) to feel that rush again to feel that rush again