Dumber

jus the other day I was pumpin gasoline when I was ready to go I ripped the whole damn hose outa that pump machine later when the cop pulled me over halfway across the state he asked why I was speeding and where I needed to be I said nowhere, and I'm running late I hope this feeling lasts winter I hope it lasts on into the summer it can storm and it can rain it can lightning and it can thunder I aint ever felt better and I aint ever been dumber later I was feeling hungry so I went down to the nail salon they gotta little chubby statue he's always got fruit I took an apple and I was gone them ladies are always so upset it must be hard workin on toes I keep mine clean and the webs in between help me float down the river ya know somedays life's jus a big ole toilet and I'm a lucky plumber it may be hot as the dickens outside but I'm cooler than a big cucumber I ain't ever felt better and I ain't ever been dumber later I was feeling lonely but I didn't really wanna talk so I went down to the morgue and laid down on a board cause nobody wanted to walk in the morning I went to church they handed me a plate of cash I took a buck or two they kicked me outa the pew even Jesus wants to kick my ass if indeed its a dream I'm in don't wake me from my slumber and if ya ever wanna feel a little better feel like life is 'a less of a bummer it's in your best interest I suggest you get dumber