Forty-Nine Steps

Comments [Verse 1] Day after day I’m drawing these small X’s In the margin of my journal Where the coffee stain still rests I whisper out the blessing Trying to keep the count straight Spinning from yesterday’s worries To whatever waits at the gate [Chorus] I’m counting the Omer Grain of sand by grain Building up a ladder Out of habit Hope And pain I’m walking it slower One heartbeat at a time Forty-nine steps from what I was To what I’m meant to find [Verse 2] Some nights I nearly miss it Keys dropped on the kitchen floor Mismatched socks and dishes Mailbox stuffed by the door But I pause beside the light switch Say the words I almost forgot Tiny flame over the sink Turns this hallway to a spot [Chorus] I’m counting the Omer Grain of sand by grain Building up a ladder Out of habit Hope And pain I’m walking it slower One heartbeat at a time Forty-nine steps from what I was To what I’m meant to find [Bridge] What if every number Is a promise I once broke A tear I never let fall A letter I never wrote I line them up in order Let them rise like bread Let them lift me Lift me Past the weight inside my head [Chorus] I’m counting the Omer Grain of sand by grain Building up a ladder Out of habit Hope And pain I’m walking it closer To a mountain in my mind Forty-nine steps from where I stand To a different kind of time