Gunshots

Lyrics: Listen I don’t expect you to understand This ain’t fear, this ain’t pretend It’s memories loopin’, stuck in my brain Generational hurt that won’t ever change Barrel to my head, yeah I’ve pictured that too You say “you’re safe” — how am I supposed to trust you? Heard in my ear “it only takes one” Now every silence sound like a gun A baby cried… then nothing instead That kind of quiet stays stuck in your head Hands still shakin’, I’m stuck in that place Echoes don’t fade, they replay in my brain I gave you my body, my mind, my soul But trauma don’t fade, it just takes control I’m screamin’ inside, I can’t get free You say “move on” but you ain’t me I don’t fear the gun, I fear what it means All the death, all the loss, all the shattered dreams I can’t unsee it, I can’t unfeel this pain I’m prayin’ your world won’t make me the same I can’t comply, I won’t pretend This ain’t weakness, this ain’t the end I don’t fear the gun, I fear what it means All the blood, all the grief, and the in-between Listen You ever lose someone out the blue? Last thing you heard still haunts you too? They say “time heals” but that’s not true Some wounds stay open no matter what you do Now every loud sound got me on edge Heart in my throat, standin’ on a ledge You say “it’s over” — it don’t feel done I still hear the echo after the gun Don’t tell me calm down, don’t tell me breathe You didn’t see what was done to me Life or death ain’t a simple choice When trauma got hands and it steals your voice I gave you my body, my mind, my soul But trauma don’t fade, it just takes control I’m screamin’ inside, I can’t get free You say “move on” but you ain’t me I don’t fear the gun, I fear what it means All the death, all the loss, all the shattered dreams I can’t unsee it, I can’t unfeel this pain I’m prayin’ your world won’t make me the same I can’t comply, I won’t pretend This ain’t weakness, this ain’t the end I don’t fear the gun, I fear what it means All the blood, all the grief, and the in-between I don’t fear the gun… I fear what it means All the ghosts, all the scars in between I don’t fear the gun… I fear what it means What it takes… what it makes… what it leaves