How Do I Currently Identify? [CC]

CW: use of reclaimed q-slur. I’ve been hesitant to talk about this for some time now, by that I mean a few years now. I think I’ve sent subtle hints here and there, in regards to gender, and I’ve been thinking about sexuality as well and where I fit on these spectrums. In this video I will discuss my questioning and self-discovery process and in retrospect realize I didn’t really explain what any of the terms meant or how they specifically would manifest in me (as they will differ with every individual) that may be for another video down the line, this video was pretty long already and I still left out a lot of details. Some details I’d like to include: I talked a lot about rediscovering my gender non conformity but failed to clarify that I flow between what I feel is a ‘neutral to soft masculine’ and femme. In regards to femininity, there are times when I feel very comfortable in it and times when I’m very uncomfortable, it greatly depends. Femininity felt like a uniform that I forgot I could take off and that’s what I took some time to examine. Some days I’d feel good in that uniform and other days I wanted to tear it off and scream, “This is not me!” and that’s inclusive to certain parts of my body; I talked about it a bit in The Gender Tag Part 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WatXU5t1Y3E On my social medias I openly state in my bios that I identify as queer and use she or they pronouns. I’m not really offended by ‘he’… it’s not correct for me but I do find those moments when I’m misgendered oddly comforting (an odd experience, I know) because it makes my gender expression feel a bit more visible and validated. This doesn’t mean I want to be referred to as “he”, just that it’s not a big deal for me when it happens. It’s kind of like someone with dyed hair getting it confused for natural, it’d be incorrect, but flattering maybe? I say, “As long as I’m a handsome ‘he’!” to joke it off. I’ve contemplated how trauma might have impacted my sexuality (something I mention very briefly in the video), which is scary to talk about not just as a traumatic topic but fear of providing fuel to homo-antagonistic beliefs that anyone not straight is so because of trauma, which is not true. It’s scary to talk about gender without being dismissed as attention-seeking, confused, or mentally ill. I have mental illnesses but my gender identity is not one of them. It’s also uncomfortable for me that some people may regard how I identify as painful or offensive when it’s a word that I feel fully engulfs how I feel as an umbrella term. The lack of awareness also makes publishing this video pretty scary, people often aggressively reject the things they don’t understand or never heard of, as it can be hard to trust something that feels so new, something that one has never experienced. I know this can all be confusing and for some of you maybe there are a lot of words in here you weren’t aware of and I hope I can provide some resources below if you would like to learn more about them. The ABCs of LGBT+ by Ash Hardell (book written in their previous name) http://amzn.to/2yh2umd What is a nonbinary gender? by Riley Dennis (#WithCaptions) https://youtu.be/ruST0GPi68s Bisexuality vs Pansexuality by Erika Linae (#WithCaptions) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pdvQww4FcE&t How Do I Know If I’m Demisexual? By Christi Kerr (#WithCaptions) https://youtu.be/VDeMknvAqco Gender fluid is not a “fake” identity by Jeffrey Marsh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYDhvocCpH4 Gender Wiki http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki SUPPORT THIS CREATOR If you enjoy my videos, please consider supporting this channel! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annieelainey PayPal: http://paypal.me/annieelainey Amazon Wish List: http://a.co/gyCgqsf The Future Is Accessible apparel: http://bonfire.com/thefutureisaccessible CONTRIBUTE CAPTIONS/SUBTITLES FOR THIS VIDEO -Click on the gear in the lower-right corner of the video -Click "Subtitles/CC" -Click "Add subtitles/CC -You can contribute Closed Captions in English or subtitles in ANY other language LIST OF VIDEOS YET TO BE CAPTIONED https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?tab=2&c=UCznS4Pk3VcTIfDUuWrQtdzQ FIND ME ON THE INTERNET Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ann.e.segarra Tumblr http://annieelainey.tumblr.com Twitter http://twitter.com/annieelainey Instagram http://instagram.com/annieelainey Snapchat http://snapchat.com/add/annieelainey Periscope AnnieElainey My Associate Store: http://astore.amazon.com/annielai-20 CHANNEL DESCRIPTION Annie Segarra (Annie Elainey) creates mainly first-person videos on introspective topics, social topics, sharing her experiences and thoughts on disability, body image, LGBT topics, gender equality, etc, as well as creative content; a variety of music/artistic media and short films. Annie identifies as a queer disabled (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) Latinx woman and uses she and they pronouns.