How do I

Take it day by day Too close to those I buried Boots still pounding in the dirt Blades spinning overhead I take it all on the chin Through nights that never end I should know It was so long ago But I wake up smelling smoke Hearing pops Tasting copper I learned to live On broken sleep I keep their names On my wrist Thought it would be easier to heal How do I still feel so lost How do I still feel out of place Their faces fade to static Everything feels the same How do I still feel so lost Standing far away How do I How do I How do I Time skips frames Dates fall apart I count who made it back Dust in my mouth Smoke in my lungs Silence after impact I scan the room I flinch at flashes Of their faces My hands shake They say it is over But my body still Believes I am knee deep How do I still feel so lost How do I still feel out of place I keep smiling But nothing ever changes How do I still feel so lost I am so far away How do I How do I How do I I lived They did not That math is fucked Breathing feels heavy Like I stole time That was for them How do I still feel so lost How do I still feel out of place Everyone keeps moving I am frozen in frame How do I still feel so lost Standing so far away How do I How do I How do I Let them go