I am in hell on Earth

There is no love for me, never was any love for me. There is no peace Everywhere is loud with cars, hatred, division, blind devotion, homelessness yelling for food or ice.. Money that I try to escape and also pay away go out and touch grass? How? I'm tired of always making mistakes its error to be human, yes, but I don't get treated as human since I was born. no one cares. I've been proven enough, seen only when their regret is too much for them to come say sorry and cry but if it was me doing an apology, I'd be ripped to shreds. good words are so rare in my life. my only video with good words was my birthday video last year. no party of a lifetime for me, never has just more who come and say they won't do me wrong and they'll be there for me, only to end up with someone who can carry a conversation with them. why am I alive anymore.. its all suffering for me. endless fucking pain and only the cruel ones seem to harbor so much love so hollow and empty this planet is how friendships feel like exams relationships become bridges waiting to crumble trying too damn much for a moment that should be easy.