Life in the 80’s (Version 1)

Life in the 80’s (Intro) (Hi! I’m, like… totally fine.) (Welcome to the decade.) (Verse 1) I’m stuck in the 80’s, like it’s yesterday, Perm so high it’s basically a weather display. Blue glitter eyelids, frosty pink gloss, Shoulder pads so big I could land a space shuttle across. Rolled-up sweater, slouchy and loud, Walkin’ through the mall like I own the crowd. Madonna bangles, triangle earrings, Leg warmers flexin’—my knees are screaming. (Pre-Chorus) We were young, we were cute, we were outta control, But something’s kinda… off in the VCR scroll. (Chorus) Life in the 80’s! (Whoa-oh!) Life in the 80’s! (Hey!) Big hair, big dreams, big mistakes, Everybody smiling in the freeze-frame breaks! Life in the 80’s! (Whoa-oh!) Life in the 80’s! (Say!) Turn it up, don’t ask me why— Just rewind, rewind, rewind— (Verse 2) Food court heaven, Orange Julius glow, But my home life’s like a cheap soap opera show. The mall says “HAPPY,” the house says “NOPE,” I learn to laugh, I learn to cope. Music’s bumpin’, then the glass goes crack, Like my brain hit pause and it didn’t come back. I smile real big, I do the thing— I’m the poster girl for “everything’s fine” (Pre-Chorus 2) We were young, we were wild, we could do anything, But the tape keeps hissin’ and the same part keeps playing. (Chorus) Life in the 80’s! (Again again again!) Life in the 80’s! (Why’s it looping??) Life in the 80’s! (Don’t look too long!) Life in the 80’s! (Smile. Act normal.) Life in the 80’s! (Who pressed play??) Life in the 80’s! (…I can’t stop it.) (Bridge) (Okay so like— Picture this:) (I’m a Barbie doll but, like, real.) (And some dude swings a beer bottle-) (BUT IT’S A TOTAL PROP BOTTLE, OKAY?) (It bonks my head like a bag of candy.) (I blink twice. I go: “…What??”) (Then I just keep doing jazzercise.) (Because… that’s what we do.) (Verse 3) Bonk on the head and I’m dazed, not dead, Like “Is this… Tuesday?” playin’ in my head. (Huh??) I drift off smiling, I’m seventeen, Livin’ inside a fluorescent dream. (What if I scream??) Stay out all day, sneak out at night, Anything beats going home to a fight. So I sparkle harder, I laugh on cue— If I look perfect, it must be true. (Final Chorus) Life in the 80’s! (Whoa-oh!) Love in the 80’s! (Hey!) Crying in the 80’s! (No one knows!) Posing for the camera while my whole world blows! Stuck in the 80’s! (Whoa-oh!) Trapped in the 80’s! (Wait—) Hit rewind, it starts again… There’s no escape— There’s no escape— There’s no escape. (Outro)