Me, Myself, & I

"Me, Myself, & I": Every year I try to do something special for my birthday. On the rare years when I don't, I'm usually very depressed. In recent years, as the amount of my friends has severely decreased, that's come to mean doing something by myself. But given that we all bring our past & future selves into the present one can imagine that there's potentially a threesome at play. Five years ago my last girlfriend broke up with me & severed all contact. Given that she's a musician I thought that she might at least have some presence on the internet but there's been none. I worried about her. I decided to go to her former area, I have no idea whether she's still there, to look for traces of her & to make at least a gentle attempt to reconnect. THEN, she had a new record out & an interview about it online. I became less worried about her. Nonetheless, I went to Michigan with her in mind. Not wanting to drive to the campsite in one day I scheduled a stop at a cheap motel. It was potentially in a high crime urban area but the price was right. I arrived & it seemed to be a welfare motel, a place housing the poor, perhaps people in drug rehab. Having been poor most of my life I decided to NOT remove all of my valuables from my car, putting trust in the residents there despite potential evidence of drug addiciton, possible gang activity, etc. My car was left unharmed. At one point, a fat woman with neck tattoos made a point of sitting on my car & then told me lies about why she did so when I approached the car to get something out of the trunk. I told her that it didn't matter. It didn't. There are more important things in life. I was disappointed by the campsite, which cost twice what the motel did & didn't have any of its amenities - such as electricity & water. As soon as I arrived, the previously sunny warm day turned into an overcast & chilly one & everyone was leaving the Lake Huron beach as I went there for a potential swim. Having gotten my ex's new record & having enjoyed it very much I decided that if it was still gray & cold the next day, my 69th birthday, I'd drive the 3 & 1/2 hours north to where my ex had worked, a wealthy area. I did so & when I got there I called her cell-phone, which immediately shunted me to voice-mail, & left her a message telling her I was there & offering to meet her if she was so inclined. As I expected, I got no reply. I drove back, taking an even longer scenic route, & got back to my campground only to learn that the single walking-distance facility with a sink & a flushable toilet was broken & closed. This was the last straw. In the meantime, I'd talked to an ex-girlfriend from 26 years ago who I learned was working at a campground in Western Michigan & who offered me a free place to stay at her house nearby. I was pleased to find that the campground I'd rented for 4 days was willing to refund 2 days of the rental fee so I left & drove west. I found both where she worked & her home very interesting & she was an excellent host. Nonetheless, the trip was somewhat stressful & I spent approximately one day out of 6 driving long-distance, something I very much don't enjoy. Michigan seemed like a very depressed state, both economically & emotionally. I saw people with skinny teeth, blackened on the edges, & other signs of methamphetamine abuse. & I saw the rich yacht-club types wearing their incredibly banal clothes. I mention all this because it's the background to this movie - WHICH MAKES NO REFERENCE TO ANY OF THAT AT ALL. I could've made some sort of straight documentary about Michigan life but I chose to make this movie instead. Go figure. - September 9, 2022E.V. notes from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE