Radiarc - Crux

I walked onward for time immeasurable, and the world surrounding became one with my mind, with my self, with the other. I breathed in, sensing the penumbra impending. Night began to set, and the air grew still. Time itself kneeled before her, bending in ways incomprehensible, and I stood still in acknowledgement of her presence. She is here. As she always was, before and after. The duality of self lies before me and within, like a mirror, and dysphoria like no other courses through my being. I am broken; the fragments comprise a cipher far beyond my understanding, yet within the path to understanding, though I suffer, I begin to see the infinite, and the obscured truth appears ever clearer. The Familiar assumes many forms, but as I am, she is as well. Through this moment, we may finally lay to rest the emptiness inside of me. https://www.deviantart.com/sharpieboss/art/I-can-handle-it-all-615850120 https://radiarc.bandcamp.com/track/crux I've...been. Thinking, processing, predicting, understanding, suffering. I've quit my job. I've broken away from marriage. My life feels like it's ending pretty much every day, and I can't help but be anxious of the future every night. It honestly makes me sick to think about, and I'm aware everything will resolve inevitably, but it took months to face not only myself, but life, as well as the infinite possibilities. I'm sorry I disappeared for so long, I just really needed time away from everything. I've had this project on my mind for a while, but was originally intended to be toward the end, if not the end of the album. To be honest, I don't know what the future holds. I know what I'm hoping for, what I want, and what I'm willing to work for, but I don't know anymore. Update: A few people have come forward to ask me about avenues to donate, and I'm incredibly awkward about accepting offers of money, but if you'd like to, you can here: https://www.paypal.me/radiarc or if you just wanted to talk, I do have my own discord server, albeit a relatively quiet place: https://discord.gg/FqUSnW5 Anything will be greatly appreciated. I'll be looking for another job soon, but if I don't move out of this house, my expenses are going to double. Every single plan I've had this year has fallen through, I've lost connections with friends, and were I not so used to being slighted or shorted, I'm sure the next thing to go would be my mind. As thankful as I am to be away from everything that was killing me inside, this is probably one of the most stressful times I've faced because I have no guarantee of anything. All I can do is move on and build myself back up, and I fully intend to do so. I wish you all the best; thank you for being there.