Respect

I just wanted quiet That was all Before the fall All I wanted was a love that was mine To be free with my own time Not to be disturbed, not to answer every fire Like my name was on the wire It isn't arbitrary, it isn't cold or cruel I need to work or I get buried, dragged beneath the overdue It seems so simple, a matter of respect Respect the door, respect the hours, respect the life I'm trying to protect But I've trained you somehow to think I'm the safe bet Anything you need, anytime you want it, I'll break my own neck I can drop whatever, I can lose the plot, I can bleed out in the doorway and still be told I'm not enough So I try to make it right, I bargain and explain But it falls on deaf ears, it comes back as blame I'm letting you down, not keeping it up The test keeps moving and I'm fed up Nothing more I can do that doesn't cost too much I won't apologize for needing what I need to live And if you don't believe I care unless I'm always here Then I give up Then I give up Abandonment gets thrown at me like an accusation Because I tried to make some money, because I tried to hold a station You tell me what I prioritize, you say it isn't you Call it neglect from the one angle you can view But you don't see the ledger, you don't see the weight You don't see the hours that vanish at the gate Don't see me trying to keep the roof from caving in You only see the boundary and call it evidence of sin And I try to make it right, I handed over reasons I softened every sentence, I survived another season But every explanation just became another rope Every time I reach for air, you call it letting go So I try to make it right, I bargain and explain But it falls on deaf ears and comes back as blame I'm letting you down, I'm not keeping it up The test keeps moving and I'm fed up Nothing more I can do I give up I give up I give up! I'm not a bottomless room Not a switch you can throw I am not the proof of love you only recognize when I say no I'm not abandoning you, I need a door There is a line between love and disappearance There is a cost to constant interference And I've paid it, I've paid it, I've paid it Till my brain went numb That was mine