Saturn ll Vent PMV [trigger warning]

**Trigger warning. Read at your own risk** This vent is deeply personal. Every single detail is important to me. This resembles the pain I feel with being stuck in the middle of my torn family. I hate how no matter where I go, I'm missing someone. Families shouldn't have to feel that, but unfortunately mine does. My dad taught me a lot about stars and he's always trying to explain the vastness of the universe to me; even throughout my childhood he would tell me these things. I remember when I was 11 years old, he and I were outside looking at the stars and we started to discuss the topic death and why people die, since, my great grandmother just had. Later that night I saw a shooting star, and I realized something. I have this quote written in the back of my favorite book as a child: "5/30/09 I'm 11 years old and I relise that every time someone dies, their spirit will always be remembered not just as a human but as a star. Every star is another old spirit." It's little moments like that that I miss most about my family. I furiously just want to go back in time and savor every moment that we were all together. But, if there's one thing I did learn from all of it, it's my place in the universe. I'm so...small. We all are. And problems like these are just a part of life, and they're just so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and this is why my vent is half happy and half sad, because yes, I deeply miss those times, but I have more to come that may be even better than those. I have my sister. They have been through it all with me, and they're just so strong and I love them more than all the stars in the universe combined plus a thousand more universes. I can't even fathom my own love for them, I respect them so much and appreciate them so much and I just know the future is bright because they're in it. Even though my parents tried to ruin the meaning of family for us, we still have each other, and they're the only family I know and I'm glad to even have that. I am so privileged to be alive and you are too, remember that. Appreciate what you have and not what you don't. And Mom, Dad, if you ever care enough to actually look at my art and read this, then, well, I hope maybe you've learned something about me and maybe your perspective has changed about our family. I feel like there's still hope. Somewhere. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SONG: Saturn by Sleeping at last (I am addicted to this band rn, check them out!) COLOR SCHEME: Inspired by Sleeping at last's album (Atlas) cover -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Estimated time: 6 hours Mood: I'm okay, don't worry about me. Programs: Procreate (app) and Sony Vegas 10 (PC) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- **Please note** I am fine. Don't freak out or anything, this is a happy/sad vent simply because I miss something. I'm not seeking attention or anything like that. All I wanted to do was get some heavy emotion off my chest through my art and share my thoughts to those who care about it and enjoy it as much as I do. Thank you for understanding.