Shots Fired

(Verse 1) We head out to dinner, I choose their best dish Order my big burger with fries on the side You flash a sweet smile and say “Honey,just one bite?” Then you devour it all, leave me high and dry Ten bites in, plate’s empty—what a sorry sight Darlin’, you’re a food thief in the night (Verse 2 ) Shoppin’ at the market, cart loaded to brim You knock the big salsa jar right onto him Turn and point at me—“Why’d you stack it so high?” Blame falls on your husband every single time People stop and whisper “She’s a beauty, oh my” They admire your face, but I know the real crime (Chorus ) Oh my darlin’ wife, oh my darlin’ wife Stealin’ my supper fast as a switchblade knife Blames me for the spill, then rips a butt trumpet blast At home you’re a brass band every single night Oh my darlin’ wife, finger deep in your nose Diggin’ for gold like the California rush, whoa Darlin’ wife, darlin’ wife, time to switch up your game Or the next big hit will be “Snoring Like a cow in Flames!” (Verse 3 ) Out in public you’re class, queen of any parade Heads turn, jaws drop low like you’re floatin’ on stage But lock the front door, kick boots off on the rug You unleash the kraken Preept-Preept! like a shot Cushions fly, dog bolts, cat prays up above You giggle and fan it my way—that’s pure love (Bridge ) I love you darlin’, boogies and quirks and all But those nose-pokin’ sessions when Netflix says “Still watchin’?” One more food betrayal, one more crop-dust review I’ll trade this old banjo for earplugs and peace too Last warning, sweet thing, I ain’t kiddin’ around Next single’s called “Wife Snores louder than MINE!" (Final Chorus) Oh my darlin’ wife! (What?!) Oh my darlin’ wife! (Tell it!) Stealin’ my food, cuttin’ sharp as a Ginsu knife Blames me for chaos, then farts with pure delight At home you’re a one-woman whoopee-cushion fight! #teamenzo #wearethejoat #stayhappy #shotsfired #disstrack #diss #funny