Statistically Speaking

This video is about statistics. It's going to be available on Spotify shortly. Already on iTunes. I don't know what I'm doing. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6KSH1PV9nEgz8xjRxTS0gq Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/statistically-speaking-single/1472475705?app=apple%20music&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 iTunes: https://music.apple.com/us/album/statistically-speaking-single/1472475705?app=itunes&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 Thanks to Max Brodie for producing this guy and dealing with me saying things like "Let's make the middle eighth more bendy." LEERICS Population density around the world; it varies (it varies)* And that makes it very tricky** to find a lover you will cherish (you will cherish)* I spoke to a statistician on the matter He said, "James I'm actually in a meeting can you Come back in an hour" So I did And he told me what I'm going to say to you (he's going to say to you)* [INTRODUCTION TO THE THEME] Statistically speaking my one true love lives in China (How will I find her?) Statistically speaking my one true love speaks Chinese (And drinks many teas)*** And I can't speak Chinese, nor Mandarin nor Cantonese And to be honest those don't sound like languages They sound like restaurants*** INTERSTITIAL DISCLAIMER In fact the difference in cultures would mean that I would need To learn a whole lot more about China Than a series of cultural stereotypes Albeit told In a Quasi-ironic Way **** It genuinely bears repeating that. In a Quasi-ironic Way [FUN MIDDLY BIT] What's the point in going out on weekends? You may as well stay in and lie in bed 'Cos there are 7 billion people in the world And only 17 of them are in the Old King's Head. I think governments around the world should spend Their GNP on a big speed-dating event 'Cos I don't believe in destiny The stars Or serendipity They're just ways of coping With entropy. But you say, "James, I met my girlfriend in a lido These things really do happen you just have to wait and see I say, "Yes but you were *working* in the lido you added her on Facebook; I think that's creepy." [HAPPY TURNAROUND BIT] And I'm saying all these things in the Old King's Head I've had three Staropramens and I wish I was in bed But is that a group of girls walking in that I see? I recognise one and she looks at me. She's got bright red hair and Spanish eyes ***** Dungarees and a disarming smile ****** I want to talk to her but I've got the fear then suddenly I see her coming over here. She says "James I like your songs And I think you're kind of funny. It doesn't bother me That you've got no money. The world's a crazy place but It Gets Better Come with me and we'll be terrified together. [SPIRIT BOOSTING CHORUS] So Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her yYou don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China * textbook repetition here ** I had to put the emphasis on the last syllable here but I think I got away with it *** Self effacing irony, not racism that could, in itself be racism masked as self effacing irony, I'm on the fence. **** senseless line splitting here to make it seem more modernist ***** ??? basically this is from a lyric I always liked from U2 "in a little while" ****** Brutal combination