Vane/Eleanor || Saturn [3x09]

"I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time. That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes." I’ve had so many feelings and rants that I thought I would put in the description of this video, but in the end I think the video speaks for itself. The mind-numbing horror that I feel over Vane’s death can’t be adequately put into words. I genuinely never thought that a fictional character’s death would affect me in this manner, but I think Vane realizing Eleanor was irredeemable as the noose was placed around his neck and then dying with a crushed heart was my breaking point. No Eleanor that I could’ve ever imagined or understood would have been able to stand stoically at Vane’s execution…much less give the order. There’s a gaping hole in my creativity and—for lack of a less cheesy term—my heart where Vaneeleanor and Black Sails used to reside. Fixating on this show and this ship helped me get over one of the worst years of my life and now I've lost this too. After the Season 3 finale, Black Sails will no longer have a place on my screen and I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. I know that his death had a point plot-wise, but for me the show ended when Charles Vane stopped breathing. I can’t imagine never vidding one of my OTPs again, but right now that is a distinct possibility. If I do choose to vid them again it will have to be an organic, in-the-moment decision. I can promise that I will make a Vane/Rackham/Bonny farewell which is bound to be even more painful than this one. Beyond that I cannot manage to plan my future in the Black Sails fandom. Who would’ve ever thought that if I could rewind Vane’s story I would beg him to accept Max’s offer to tell him “how to stop caring about her”? He would’ve been so much better off. The last two thoughts that I feel I should include are: 1) I take back every awful thought I've had about Idelle and Max. Their faces as Charles died held a hell of a lot more sadness and horror than Eleanor's. And for that I'll love both of them forever. 2) Do you realize that if Zach McGowan wasn't still on The 100 that I would've probably lost my entire mind by now? Somehow knowing he's still going to be on my screen for at least a little while has kept me from fully losing it. Ok, that's it. Thanks for watching! xoxoxoxoxo No Copyright Infringement Intended.