wavering shine

I normally don't do the whole description thing but this is the most personal project I've ever made. Once upon a time, I saw an announcement trailer for an upcoming video game called Kernel Hearts. The game, which piqued my interest, paled in comparison to the OST playing. The song lending the game footage this bleak and detached, yet, subtly hopeful atmosphere. This all-consuming yearning. So began my love affair with the song Cataract by Patterns. I wanted to edit with it, I was inspired by the lyric video's use of text, color, distorted patterns, and production materials. But I didn't feel like I could do it justice at the time so I held off, letting it simmer in the background as the seasons passed me by. Six months ago, around the completion of my last amv 'sadsack destroys fascism with magic & sparkles' I sustained a crippling repetitive stress injury with accompanying tendonitis. To save you a google, my hands and elbows hurt so badly I could not navigate using a computer or hold a book or easily fall asleep. I sought therapy (which I had to insist on) and, while I followed the therapist's instructions dutifully, incorporating stretching and obligatory daily aerobic exercise, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into one of the most depressive periods of my life. I was deprived of all of my creative outlets, the ability to engage with friends, staring down a tunnel of months and months of nothing but this. Months of limitations. Months of uncertainty. Cataract felt different, now. It felt the way I felt. This urge to return to where I once was and the weight of never being able to go back. The quiet fear things will never improve. The resolution to continue on, because stopping is unthinkable, but without truly believing these efforts will bear fruit. RSIs and tendonitis take quite a while to heal from due to a lack of blood supply to the tissues that tend to get irritated. Around the three month mark, I was able to web surf a little and I began to think about making something while I recover. I stumbled upon a cache of Puella Magi Madoka Magica production materials and... I wanted to make something I've never seen anyone else make. In case it's the last thing I'm ever able to make. I wanted to create something special. Something only I could do. Something real. Come on a journey with me! Everything has broken. I am falling apart. ...but even then. A very special thank you to all of Gomibako Team for your endless support and kind attention. Thank you to @Blader @llCatchMe and @chlorit.e for being massively supportive cheerleaders. Thank you to @LycorisAMV for making me tear up by saying this is your favorite madoka amv ever. If you've read all this, thank you, too! I'm so glad to be back.