Welcome To The Future

Verse 1: back in 1959 they drew the future in the sky silver jumpsuits, rocket boots, and burgers flying by they said we'd all have robot maids and floating laser cars vacation homes on jupiter and shopping trips to mars they promised every dog would talk through translator machines but now my fridge just judges me for midnight mozzarella cheese Pre-Chorus 1: they said we'd live like kings in chrome but i'm yelling at my wifi at home Chorus 1: where's my flying car, where's my jetpack ride why's my robot vacuum stuck and crying on the side future looked amazing in the magazines we knew but the closest thing to space i've got is ordering thai food beep bop, neon lights, everything's online we got smart refrigerators but we're losing our minds Verse 2: they thought we'd wear metallic suits with glowing purple hair instead we're wearing sweatpants binge-watching from a chair they pictured giant moon hotels with disco dance machine but half of us just argue in the comments of a screen they said computers would obey and make our lives complete mine autocorrects "hello mom" to "help i smell like feet" Pre-Chorus 2: they dreamed of robots serving fries instead ai just makes weird guys cry Chorus 2: where's my laser gun, where's my cyber train why's my smartwatch telling me i'm slightly dehydrated again future looked so shiny in the movies from before but i'm fighting with a chatbot just to open up a door beep bop, techno nights, satellites collide we got face recognition but forget where we parked outside Verse 3: they thought by now we'd teleport and never wait in line instead i lost three hours watching dancing cats online they swore we'd have vacation trips on giant cosmic planes but airlines still charge forty bucks for extra legroom space they pictured chrome androids cooking breakfast every day my toaster burned a pop tart and then blew a fuse away Pre-Chorus 3: the future's here, it's kind of strange my toothbrush needs a software change Chorus 3: where's my hoverboard, where's my rocket lane why's my bluetooth disconnecting every time it starts to rain future looked electric in the old tv parade but my coffee maker needs an app update to make a latte beep bop, flashing signs, techno paradise we got virtual reality and twenty different streaming sites Verse 4: they said we'd all be living in gigantic crystal towers with robot butlers bringing pizza every couple hours instead i'm yelling "password wrong" for seventeen whole days while customer support just says "please try another way" they thought we'd cure all boredom with holographic games but now there's fourteen thousand apps that all do the same thing Verse 5: still i gotta laugh because the future did arrive we carry tiny supercomputers everywhere we drive we stream whole worlds into our hands from underneath the sheets and strangers fight on social apps about pineapple on pizza memes maybe it ain't perfect, maybe things got pretty weird but honestly this timeline's way more fun than they feared Bridge: neon lasers, robot dogs self-driving cars stuck in traffic fog people falling down while filming dances for the net the future turned chaotic and we haven't peaked yet moon dreams, memes, and energy drinks half the world needs therapy and faster internet speeds grandpa thought we'd all be astronauts by twenty twenty-five instead we're making techno songs about surviving online Outro: so here's to all the dreamers drawing futures long ago you got a couple things half right but buddy what a show we may not have the jetpacks or the giant mars parade but we've got robot vacuums screaming while they eat the drapes beep bop, one more time, welcome to the age where humanity unlocked the stars and still can't beat the captcha page