Developer Diss to QA

Lyrics : Listen... I don't write code for you to understand it. I write it for the machine. You’re just a parasite in the process. Turn the headphones up. I’m pushing commits like I’m dropping bodies in the basement While you’re busy reading docs, searching for some misplacement. You’re a glorified secretary, a clerical error in heels Logging tickets for the clicks, while I’m forging the steel. Look at you, "QA," acting like the gatekeeper of code When your only contribution is stalling the load. "I found a bug!"—Yeah, congratulations, you clicked a link! Do you want a medal for proving that you’re on the brink? You don't understand the architecture, you don't grasp the scope You’re just a human filter for a broken, hopeless dope. I’m the architect, the king, the one who defines the stack You’re a bottom-feeder, crawling through the lines at the back. This ain’t a "Bug Report," this is a hate crime against my time You’re a worthless filter in this software paradigm! Rejecting my PR like you actually have a clue But the only thing broken in this system is YOU. Status: Ignored. Status: Trashed. I’m deleting your account before my reputation’s clashed! I’m tired of the pings, the Slack messages, the "Can we talk?" You’re a glitch in my simulation, I’m the one who makes you walk. You think you’re smart? You’re a checkbox-ticking puppet I’m a C++ titan, and you’re just a bucket of... bile. "Regression testing?" No, you’re just regressing as a human Watching my metrics climb while your career is ruined. You don't find bugs, you invent 'em to feel relevant Your job is a lie, and your feedback is irrelevant! I’m shipping this, with or without your "approval" stamp You’re just a parasite, a leech, a buggy little champ. I don’t care about your "Test Cases." I don’t care about your "User Flow." You’re a bug in the system. And I’m the one who runs the terminal. Sudo... delete... user. So keep your screenshots, keep your Jira, keep your shame I’m breaking production, and I’m taking the blame! I’m the legend, the hero, the one who makes it run You’re a keyboard-mashing failure, and your testing is done! Don't talk to me about 'standards,' don't talk to me about 'risk' You’re a liability, kid, and you’re off of my disk. Format your drive, go find a job that’s manual labor ‘Cause you’re not a coder, you’re not a friend, you’re not a neighbor! I’m the god of the script, I’m the master of the shell Welcome to the production environment... straight from hell! Yeah. Deploying to prod. Don't bother responding. You’ve been refactored out of existence. Force push.