Disguise

A song for my mum You were disguised as gold As love, a house, I was told I would be safe here inside these walls And when you locked me in only then was I sure That you were a monster with teeth and claws You shed your charming skin only when you were So sure that I'm going to stay and wait for the good days And in between I was expected to endure An isolation that made you all I had I gave you it all, how could you want more You took my means so the kids needed their dad And it's not that you prayed on the weak You saw my strength, something you need You came to me broken, needed to feed I cupped my hands and let you drink Go away, I can't do it anymore Let me escape I never asked to be responsible for Your mistakes And now if i leave you say you'll starve I've never seen this trick before If you get hurt it's all my fault For me to choose is all you ask for Choose to end your life Or choose freedom for myself My cage is your lifeline And i'm selfish if i try to get help If i learn from my mistakes I'm sorry that you had to teach me I became difficult Impossible to be with