It's not the same

I didn’t think it’d hit this hard Just changing where I stay Same me, same everything But nothing feels the same I see your names, I type and stop Don’t know what I should say ‘Cause how do I explain this feeling That won’t go away I thought I’d get used to it Like people always do But something in me shifts Every time I’m not with you ‘Cause I love how I laugh with you Like I don’t have to try I’m the one who talks too much And laughs ‘til I cry I say the dumbest things You still stay anyway But here I’m just… quieter Like that part fades away There’s people being nice to me They try to pull me in And I try to go along with it Pretend I fit in But every time I almost do I feel it in my chest Like something’s not right here Like I’m not at my best I’m not scared you’ll forget me Or that we’ll move on But every time I adjust Something just feels wrong ‘Cause I love how I laugh with you Like nothing’s ever fake I’m the one with silly jokes You always let me make But here they’ll never know How loud I used to be They only see the quiet Version here of me I don’t know what this fear is Or why it won’t leave It’s not even something That I can explain easily But it’s there every moment When I try to belong And it’s slowly, quietly Getting too strong Maybe I’ll get used to it Maybe I’ll be fine But I miss the way I felt When that life was mine