No Lap Bar

yeah… yeah… used to love rollercoasters as a kid… now I’m lookin’ for the safety inspection papers… Used to throw my hands up high when the track took dips Now I grip my own wrists when the mood shit flips Click-click-climb, stomach tight, here we go again Fake smiles at the gate like “admit one friend” Everybody loves the rise, nobody talks brakes Nobody talks neck strain, blackouts, heart shakes Nobody says adulthood kills amusement parks When you realize every thrill leaves electrical marks You call it passion, I call it altitude abuse Yankin’ my nervous system around till the screws come loose One minute “baby, you’re magic,” next minute radio silence Now I’m shadowboxing ghosts in emotional violence And the drop comes quick… like GODDAMN No warning lights No harness click Just— gravity pickin’ favorites again Rollercoasters ain’t fun when you’re grown now No lap bar holdin’ me down now Everybody screamin’ like the fear’s the best part I just wanna know when the whole ride falls apart Up-down jerk-stop heart lock rail rot You call this love? This feels like whiplash in a parking lot I can smell the grease and the rust in the rain Hear the old ride operator mispronounce my pain “Keep your arms inside the vehicle please” Meanwhile my soul got dragged thirty feet through the trees And I’m tired… SO tired… Of emotional elevation changes One day sunshine Next day vacant faces I don’t even like heights but I climb in still Like maybe THIS ride won’t try to kill What little bit of peace I finally built But the safety bar’s gone and the floorboards tilt Everybody says: “LET GO” “LIVE A LITTLE” “LOVE’S A RISK” Yeah? So’s head trauma. Rollercoasters ain’t magic when the bolts come loose When your chest learns fear from somebody you choose Round and round and around I go Still payin’ full price for another low blow No lap bar No ground Just another pretty light breakin’ down…