Tap Tap Tap

tap… tap… tap… oh… we’re here again the thought rattled through my eyeballs… blink please… not again… groaning against myself i find… my center --- it’s solid black… i can’t see anything silent silence… a thing… thing tap… whatever i’m laying on hit my knuckles back cement stone smooth… no cracks fake --- should i lick it… why is that always the first thought --- struggling to move i drag myself upright… legs tangled mind warped curl around myself… it’s ok… i’ve been here before… i know the way out --- tap… tap… tap… my soul melts then i freeze… i’ve been alone in here… --- tap… tap… tap… again… tap… tap… tap… my breath slips out… trying to see… anything… --- no… not answering… i know my job and it isn’t to find out --- somehow… i sank back here thought i locked the door last time… guess the key moved… --- the walls around me… paper mache… fed on dreams… i can’t leave until i remember my own face --- that’s the problem… the face in the mirror never felt like mine something looks back… i can’t see through it my eyes pull me in… color turns… but only at the edge --- tap… tap… tap… still… no reply… i’m not here for them --- last time… it stretched… weeks into seconds… water… noise… something inside me… felt more than heard --- my neck pulled against itself… everything… wrong… --- my silent enemy… breath gone cold… night that never knows… fall… then rise… rain comes in… shapes begin to glow… --- slow down… control… --- colors drain… edges narrow… a name i almost know… --- no… stop… control… --- shim… shimmer… no… brain stepped in… don’t mix… words falling… scattle waddle toggle stop… control… --- tap… tap… tap… no… stop… control… --- things don’t make sense… nothing lines up… what is this… --- tap… tap… tap… … tap… tap… tap… --- …i give in --- tap… tap… tap…