Psychological Bind | [flash warning]

It's not easy being neurodivergent. The world insists on moving at a fast pace, leaving those of us struggling to "act normal" and keep up or else get left behind. My own case is a cognitive processing delay. I liken it to a buffering video or bad internet connection, where input and output are slow to respond. Moments of anxiety and high stress certainly don't help, neither does the fact that I tend to ruminate on things, and sometimes I find myself with nervous tics as a result. Over the years, I've had to remind myself repeatedly to stop the negative self-talk and loosen my own vice grip trying to control this, that trying to force being "neurotypical" isn't going to make my brain so; it's something that just has to be worked with. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Lyrics) Thoughts run rampant “Remember this instant?” “Should’ve been different” Wanna stop it but I can’t “Quiet down!” “Don’t bother me now!” Rumination plagues my brain Always feels like I’m on The verge of going insane It echoes like a chant “Can’t break free” “What’s wrong with me?” I can’t get a grip On my own mind Every minute a moment I fell behind Am I in a psychological bind? What am I supposed to do? Can’t speak my thoughts Can’t understand Not quick enough To meet the demand Have to step lockstep Under my command “Get a hold of yourself And just push through” A memory flips a switch “Could’ve done this” “Your chance is missed” An involuntary twitch “What was that sound?” “Was anyone around?” Anxiety sets in “Take a breath” “Put the mask back on Before you fret to death” A struggle to fix this glitch Feels like a curse It just gets worse I can’t get a grip On my own mind Every minute a moment I fell behind Am I in a psychological bind? What am I supposed to do? Can’t speak my thoughts Can’t understand Not quick enough To meet the demand Have to step lockstep Under my command “Get a hold of yourself And just push through” I have to get a grip On my own mind Gotta meet the moment Can’t fall behind Get out of this psychological bind Is this what I’m supposed to do? “Just spit it out” “You understand?” “Gotta keep up To meet the demand” Have to step lockstep Under my command “Get a hold of yourself And just push through” “Loosen your grip On your mind” “Just need gentle Self-remind” “You’ll do better” “Be patient and kind” “Slow down and embrace you”