Anhedonia

I exist because, I have to Feels impossible some days I wake up tired, too tired to be Weariness that sleep can’t fix Waking to do it all over Close to hopeless, not quite there What does it feel like to want to be here To feel anything at all, anything at all I’m just not enough Disconnected from myself Spectator in my own life Watching days pass by Being a person is such a heavy weight Precipitating, frustrating, suffocating What’s the purpose, the meaning Years of trying, years of disappointment No one is coming to save us I can’t explain why I’m tired What does it feel like to want to be here To feel anything at all I’m just not enough Disconnected, from myself Spectator, in my own life Watching days pass by There’s no joy left in small things No light in the things that used to shine The colors faded long ago Did they use to shine at all? I carry emptiness inside No rescue coming down the line Just forward motion through the gray Anhedonia Anhedonia I can’t feel it anymore Anhedonia Anhedonia It only gets heavier Anhedonia Anhedonia